I moved to Orlando with my bare essentials in 2002. During the intervening seven years, my parents have begged me to get my crap out of their garage.

This past weekend, they went through all the stuff in the garage, threw out a bunch of things. Among them: an original NES (I know), an ancient Compaq computer, and my sister’s old stuffed animals. Then they separated the stuff that should be kept. Luckily, my stuff made the cut in the form my foot locker and two boxes.

I totally don’t remember doing this, but this is so something that Yesteryear!Marcela—the bitch who lacked forethought—would do: there is a combination lock on the foot locker. I imagine it’s the same lock I had all throughout high school, so I think I remember the combination.

Having said that, does anybody know where I can get a sweet deal on a pair of bolt cutters on Black Friday?