The members of my high school graduating class are using Facebook to plan our 10-year class reunion.

I just saw one of my middle school bullies (oh, there were just so many) post “This should be fun!!!” and I’m trying so hard to not reply with “Yeah, kinda like that time you yanked my ponytail so hard you almost broke my neck. Woooooooo C/O 2000!!!!”

Everyone always says they want to lose some weight before their reunion; I just want to lose some of this baggage.