Yesterday, I had plans to meet up with my friend Jackie for lunch. She’s recovering from surgery for her torn ACL so she’s on pain pills and crutches which makes for a very fun lunch date. Well, I got to the restaurant first and I parked my car, but as I was getting out, a fucking owl flew into my car and perched itself on the passenger seat.
At this point, I’m like “umm … ok, wtf?” but I figure there should be an easy way for me to get him out without being bitten so I put my purse and keys back down on the driver’s seat and put the passenger window down. I do a few shooing movements towards the owl and he flies out the window. Relieved, I put the window back up, pick up my purse, and lock and close the driver’s side door … with my car keys sitting in the driver’s seat. WONDERFUL!
Ok, I tell myself, I’ll just call Pop-A-Lock before we start eating and they’ll probably be here by the time we’re done. I go into the restaurant, walk up to the hostess stand, and request a table for two. Jackie hasn’t arrived yet, so I tell her to keep an eye out for a chick on crutches. Just as I say that, about 20 people come in and about half of them are on crutches. The hostess looks at me as if I’m the one that summoned all the cripples and I just laugh nervously and say “Nope, that’s not her.”
And then I woke up.
Can we all agree that “crazy dream” stories are much crazier/more interesting when you don’t start off with “Dude, I had the craziest dream last night!”?
P.S. Same goes for jokes that don’t start off with “Ooh! I’ve got a hilarious joke to tell you!”.
