Marcela channeling Margeeka

How about I discontinue YOU?

Drugstore.com? That was the first place I looked when I couldn’t find it in stores anymore; you think I’m a fucking amateur?

When I run out of the 10 bottles that I ordered on that jank GoDaddy site—which I payed for with funds from The Bank of Nikolai—I’ll consider your “Biore Dual Fusion Moisturizer with SPF 30.” I’ll consider it (if it, too, hasn’t been discontinued by then).

Marcela:

We regret to inform you that our Biore Pore Minimizing Moisturizer has been discontinued due to declining sales.  We no longer have any remaining stock.  You may still be able to find it online at the following websites while supplies last:

www.drugstore.com 800-378-4786

We have introduced a new facial moisturizer with sun protection called Dual Fusion in our new Skin Preservation line.

Biore Dual Fusion Moisturizer with SPF 30 - Dual Fusion delivers a unique blend of high UV protection and weightless hydration to simultaneously defend and strengthen transitional skin.  The special double-chambered package preserves the efficacy and potency of both the SPF protection and the silky, non-greasy moisturizing properties.  It improves dryness, fine lines, and uneven skin tone.  Transparent SPF 30 provides broad spectrum protection to minimize the effects of daily UV exposure.

If you have additional questions, please feel free to contact us via email or phone or visit our website www.biore.com for more information about our Biore products.

We do regret taking away one of your favorite products and we hope you will continue to turn to our company for your personal care needs.


Cordially,


Kao Brands Consumer Relations Dept.
Ban  Biore  Curel  Jergens  John Frieda

My moisturizer has been discontinued

And I totally just impulse-bought 10 bottles of it on some sketchy GoDaddy MarketPlace site. Hate you, Biore.

“We’re talking about taking the penis of a man and putting it in the rectum of another man and wriggling it around in excrement. And you have to think, would I want that to be done to me?”

kiamatthews:

[Wonkette: New Hampshire State Rep. Nancy Elliott Would Like To Discuss Same-Sex Marriage]

Jesus be a sex ed class and some common sense. Also, wriggling? What kind of sad sex is this lady having?

[h/t - The sexy and masculine Andrew Boney]

As per usual, there’s gold in them thar comments: “Wait. Doesn’t excrement have to be excreted before it can be called excrement?”

Also, I need to do some research because I highly doubt that 5th graders are being instructed on—let alone encouraged to have—anal sex. If that’s the case, my class got totally gypped.

Nancy Elliot, kindly STFU. KTHX.

Try me

Flying out to NYC tomorrow morning. Good luck to anyone who tries any funny shit on the plane. I’m not in the mood, and I will take you down with my bare hands.

Chances are even better that I don’t like you

If your e-mail signature is in Comic Sans, it’s very likely that I have zero respect for you.

Macela isn’t even a name

It’s annoying enough when someone misspells your name after they’ve received e-mail correspondence from you (which, coincidentally contains the correct spelling of said name).

It’s even more annoying when they misspell it on paperwork to be used in a professional capacity. Like, say, ID verification.