Marcela channeling Margeeka

Holy fuck; I’m done. This is a thing, and I want to kill...

Wed, 15 Feb 2012 12:18:00 -0500

Holy fuck; I’m done.

This is a thing, and I want to kill myself.

The knee-slapping woman at 0:13? I would hit her in the face. I’m serious. If I were stuck at the airport on a long layover and this simple bitch was sitting next to me, wearing this ridiculous getup and cackling like a retarded witch, I would stand up and take a few steps back to get a running-start for what would be the most righteous of bitch-slaps.

Don’t even get me started on the piss-poor performances from the obviously hired “men/women on the street.”

“Man, I dunno; it looks kind of weird…”
“This is AWESOME”
“Alright, lemme try!”
“NOO! Get your own!”

“My kids would love this.”
[lifts TVHat for dramatic effect]
“My husband would love this!”

wut?

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 11:00:20 -0500

wut?:

1) Why does this post have 7,803 notes?
2) Why do 7,804 people have such horrible taste in pizza? It looks like it’s from Chuck E. Cheese.
3) Why does this qualify to show up on Tumblr’s “radar” spotlight on my dashboard?

Mean Girls came out in 2004. Since then, Lizzy Caplan has starred in a few TV shows (Related, The...

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 11:47:00 -0500

Mean Girls came out in 2004. Since then, Lizzy Caplan has starred in a few TV shows (Related, The Class, Party Down, True Blood) as well as appeared in a few movies (Cloverfield, Hot Tub Time Machine, The Last Rites of Ransom Pride, 127 Hours). Most recently, you can catch her playing Julia the lovable lawyer with anger management issues on New Girl.

WHY, then, is it that the Lizzy Caplan tag is chock-full of “mind blown” posts comparing a picture of her as Janis Ian with any non-gothed out picture of her?

You guys have had eight years to get your heads out of your asses and realize that this chick is hot as fuq; get over it and start posting stuff with substance.

I just picked up a smoothie at the Waterford Lakes Shopping Center. It’s 74 degrees out (feels...

Tue, 22 Nov 2011 08:28:12 -0500

I just picked up a smoothie at the Waterford Lakes Shopping Center. It’s 74 degrees out (feels like it’s 80), we haven’t even had the chance to celebrate Thanksgiving, and these unmitigated pricks are already playing Christmas music.

Give me a fucking break.

Toddlers & Tiaras - Karmen's Mom - YouTube

Sun, 09 Oct 2011 20:25:49 -0400

Toddlers & Tiaras - Karmen's Mom - YouTube:

WHY did I do a youtube search for Toddlers & Tiaras?!

I’m a masochist.

On my way to Toronto. Currently layed-over in Charlotte, NC, and eavesdropping on some guy who...

Sun, 02 Oct 2011 09:53:41 -0400

On my way to Toronto. Currently layed-over in Charlotte, NC, and eavesdropping on some guy who simply cannot believe our flight is delayed due to under-staffing (they’re having to fly a flight attendant in from Philly).

The only thing more annoying than dealing with delays/cancellations is some d-bag complaining on his phone about it.

…and now I’m blogging about it. The circle of righteous indignation is complete.

On Halloween and becoming crotchety before my time

Thu, 28 Oct 2010 09:49:32 -0400

We’re going to a “COSTUMES NOT OPTIONAL” Halloween party on Friday, so naturally I waited until Tuesday to start my search for a costume.

I honestly can’t remember the last time I had a particularly clever costume idea, so I decided to go the “Sexy ____” route. First stop: Spirit Halloween where I entertained the idea of being the Sexy Bee to Adam’s Beekeeper, but they didn’t have his size in the beekeeper jumpsuit. After Adam decided that he was going to be Captain Spaulding, I gave up any hope that we would have complementary costumes and started trying on random crap.

None of it really stuck, so it was off to Fairvilla Megastore (Adult Toys/Costumes, for those not in the know), where Halloween is the great equalizer and nobody is judged. I tried on a few costumes that didn’t impress me, got frustrated and we walked upstairs to stare at dildos and butt plugs for a while. I should mention that our two friends were with us and we were giggling like school children and poking each other with vibrating scorpions (why is this a thing?!).

I left Fairvilla costume-less and with a handful of hand sanitizer. So yesterday, I went to Party City where they have an entire wall covered in numbered pictures of costumes. You pick one out, tell a sales associate the costume number and size you would like, they call the back room on their radio, some guy puts down his bong, finds your selection, and brings it out. Then, you get to stand in line for about 20 minutes, waiting for one of the two fitting rooms to become available because, even though you’re only allowed one costume at a time, there are people in there wearing a Snooki costume and staring at themselves in the mirror while they perfect their duck-face for way longer than is socially acceptable.

Finally, I got into the fitting room, tried on my costume as fast as possible because I’ll be damned if I get all hypocritical up in this bitch, looked at myself in disgust because who am I kidding with this “Sexy Robin from Teen Titans” getup, and said “Fuck it, I will make this work,” because I did not have the patience to go through that whole process all over again. Plus, I was disheartened that they were sold out of the Sexy Harry Potter costume.

I changed back into my civvies, stood in the check-out line behind some teens that were planning multiple costumes—one for each night of the weekend—and fumed over how at some point this Friday night, my boobs would most definitely pop out of this shoddily made costume.

Bill O’Reilly “Discusses” Lesbian Teens Every...

Mon, 11 Oct 2010 09:47:54 -0400

Bill O’Reilly “Discusses” Lesbian Teens

Every time Bill O’Reilly speaks, I die a little inside.

He claims the teens are trying to “tweak the parents,” well I feel like I’m being punk’d when he compares homosexuality to drugs.

"Ah, and sure as the sun rises in the east, today the first purse-meme thang appeared on my Facebook..."

Thu, 07 Oct 2010 15:26:58 -0400

“Ah, and sure as the sun rises in the east, today the first purse-meme thang appeared on my Facebook wall. One of my friends “likes it in the car.” Nothing like imagining your middle-aged friends doing it to start the day off right! More purse locations will be coming, I’m sure, as October grinds on. Purses on the floor, on the table, on a chair. Inside a basket. Hanging on a hook. Oh, ha ha. Ha ha. Ha. And this helps cancer patients how??? Hey, I’ve got an idea for a game. How about all you coy, adorable gals pry yourselves away from your computers, grab your purses and plunk them down on the floor next to a friend who is suffering from cancer. Then you take her hand, and you tell her that you love her, and you’re going to be there for her no matter what comes. Then you ask her how you can help. I know this game won’t be as much fun as the bra and purse online frolics. But since when is a disfiguring, often fatal disease supposed to be a source of fun for others? I must have missed the memo.”

- Facebook Wants to Know Where I Like My Purse. Here’s Where They Can Put It. (via apsies)

This was one of those FB memes that I thought was kinda…..well, what they said.

(via thedabara)

Seriously, couldn’t have said it better myself. I’m lucky that I don’t have any friends or family members who are dealing with breast cancer, but if I did, I highly doubt that any of them would give a flying fuck about where I put my purse when I get home or—for that matter—what silly innuendo could be derived from it.

thedabara: calamity-physics: eclecticchaos: daleksontumblr: H...

Thu, 23 Sep 2010 16:59:42 -0400

thedabara:

calamity-physics:

eclecticchaos:

daleksontumblr:

Henry Rollins on Diamonds.

This. Fucking this.

HAHAHA So fucking true. I have never like diamonds and he states all the reasons why besides the fact I find them ugly. This girl is more into turquoise, amber and black onyx. Oh and silver that is all you find in my jewelry box. It is nice to hear someone else say this.

Yup… not to mention the effect diamond mining has on the environment as well. While I can look at a diamond and think “pretty” I immediately get sad at what it represents to me and no longer care about a sparkle. Simulated diamonds or other gemstones are more beautiful and meaningful in my opinion. Have you ever seen a fire opal set with rubies or emeralds? I have an heirloom ring that is gorgeous and more impressive than any diamond ring I have seen.

The idea of diamond engagements rings have always been ridiculous. There shouldn’t be a price tag on engagement/ marriage. I’ve always thought that. I think some jewelry can be beautiful but mainly… the intent and careful choosing is more meaningful than the size or cost.

How can anyone wear anything that is such a known symbol of oppression and pain? I guess that’s what people think of marriage. How sad.

OH, Henry. You know I love you. I even forgive you for that time you made that group of skinheads get all worked up and hit me in the head in a mosh pit. It’s just because you’re awesome sometimes. Sometimes your sanctimonious and self-important, but that’s ok.

I’ve never understood the need to drop dough on a diamond OR a wedding, actually. Dude, if you’re gonna spend that, put it toward a house (like Henry says)….or drag my ass across the globe for a month.

I know today has been heavy on the reblogs, but OMFG YESSS!
I’m so glad to hear that I’m not the only one who feels this way about diamonds.